Hanging @ The Farm

Once we got back to the farm, we still had some time to kill. Both Squeak and I were quite short of cash, and so we took up the offer of work from Sid, the farmer. He had decided to redo his floors in his house to stop creaking. So I became a carpenters assistant for a few days, screwing the floor down, laying sound proof matting, then a floating floor over the top. Eventually, I returned to doing office work, with Bro taking over for me.

I had been looking at buying a car, as they are pretty cheap in the UK, and I liked the idea that I could run away when we have a week off or whatever. I bid on a few luxury old Volvos on eBay. I missed out on winning one by about 10 pounds in the last three seconds. The car was being sold by a dealership, and so I followed the link to their site, to find one very similar for sale. It was a 1995 Volvo 850 ‘Estate’ (Station Wagon), Manual 2.5L Petrol (145 Brake Horse Power), All Wheel Drive, with 4 Airbags, Cruise Control, Beige Leather Seats and Wood Paneling. They were asking 1500 for it, but the one that sold on eBay the night before went for 650, and was the model above, but with no luxury items.

Sid was heading towards Oxford to pick up a car for Eddie to race around the farm in, and as it turned out the dealership was only a 20 minute detour. I thought I would tag along and go to the dealership and see what it was like. We picked up Eddie’s car, on the trailer behind Sid’s shogun 4WD, then headed off to the dealership. The car was in pretty good condition, with only some minor scratches and no rust to be seen. The leather inside had some wear, but no rips or tears. The only thing that didn’t work, was the air-conditioning. Sid was impressed with the car, as was I, so I took it for a test drive. It was hard to get used to the manual gearbox, as my mum had had one of these Volvos previously and it was Auto. I really liked it, and it drove very well.

The dealership had been using it as a loan car, so when people brought their cars in for a service, they would be given this car to drive around for a few days. That was a good sign, as they wouldn’t give a dud unreliable car to people getting a service. I offered 650, and was talked up to 700, which I agreed on. As I didn’t have the PIN number to my English card, I had to pay for it on my Australian Credit Card, which was weird and quite funny. Then Eddie jumped in the passenger seat, and we were off for a 2 and a half hour first run on the way home.

It ran like a dream, and somewhere out on the A303, we managed to get it to just over 105 miles an hour, or 165km/h. (sorry mum), it was just for a bit, then drove under the speed limit for the rest of the way home I promise. I can’t believe how cheap cars here are, the equivalent of $1100 Australian, when this type of car would sell for over $4500 Australian in Australia. Then I tried to get insurance, which is compulsory in the UK, and was quoted 1700 Pounds for 1 year… Almost 2.5 times what I had paid for the car. Now I understood why the car was so cheap. I managed to work something out, and ended up paying around 520 for the year.

We had a few eventful days around the farm, which to farm people wouldn’t be anything new. Hamish had brought back about 800 eggs, that he had found at glastonbury festival. Squeak and I ate a few one morning and didn’t feel very good afterwards. We decided they weren’t for consumption, and instead decided to throw them at the old Transit, parked up at the end of Little Australia. We had a bit of a money contest going on, and everyone got in the spirit. Bro actually ended up wearing a whole egg, Hamish’s fault of corse, and he huffed off to clean up. After we had all thrown 800 eggs, we decided to head into town and go ‘clubbing’. Now anyone who knows Yeovil, or country towns really, will know that this was bound to be a pretty ‘cultural experience’. It turned out to be an absolute hilarious experience. Turned out the only club in town “club neo” was also open for the olds to come and let loose. The music was cheesy, the outfits quite sad, but the beer was cheap and as we caught the nippys bus home, we thought it was worth it.

Another stand out story from the farm is as follows:

So I was in the office, sending a few quotations etc, when Eddie (the farmers son) came into the house all puffed & sweaty. When I asked what was wrong, he was so breathless that he couldn’t tell me. Eventually, he explained that a few calves had escaped from one of the fields whilst they were trying to horde them into the cowshed to de-fly them. These cheeky buggers had managed to break through a fence into another field, and then the next, and the next, almost all the way to the end of the property. Sid (the farmer), Eddie (his son), Kev (Sid’s mate), Lesek (Polish worker) & Steve (Farm Mechanic) had been chasing them around for the better part of 45 minutes.

Squeak had just shown up, and he and I, with fresh legs, decided to join the chase. The cheekiest of them all, a bull in the making, was cornered in a small field near the house. All we had to do now was shepherd him towards the cowshed, one field and one section at a time. Eddie and I were positioned just outside the gates to the field, out of sight, ready to trap him out of the field. Sid, Kev, Steve & Squeak were in the field, trying to get him to exit. Eddie and I had to idea of what was going on, because we couldn’t see the guys. Eventually we heard some yelling, and swearing, and popped our heads around in time to see this cheeky bastard breaking through another fence and into the rest of the herd.

We gave up on him and went for the other two. They were in the racetrack field, and with Lesek positioning the tractor to block the drive, the others went into the field in the 4WD and the Iveco Ute to chase them up. There was no word for a while and eventually Squeak came running over to tell me to get in Eddie’s new Golf and come into the next field. I drove across, just in time to find Kev in the 4WD Shogun. Turns out the cows had gone into the next field over (the wheat) to which Sid was furious, and chasing them around on foot. Squeak appeared on foot and told me to go thru the field and onto the road. I slammed the Golf in 2^nd and floored it across the field, dodging pot holes as I went. I almost lost it going onto the dirt road, and just as I cleared the gate…

There the calves were, running along the road. I blocked them from going down the driveway, and headed them towards the sheds. They kept trying to turn around and pass the Golf, but each time I would slam it in reverse and spin the tires and try and position the car to block them. One almost made it past, just Sid appeared in the Iveco Ute, screaming around the dirt corner, on the verge of control. He blocked the cows in with the Iveco Ute, next to the Golf. Hamish and Frances appeared and attempted to herd them towards us. Sid called for us to all calm down, as we now had them reasonably cornered. They tried once agin to go through a fence, but they were under our control, so we herded them into the drive next to the Shed, and eventually into the race.

Now for the cheeky one. He had joined the main herd in a very large paddock, and so I headed around in the Iveco, with Eddie following in his Golf. I collected the radios from our office and gave them out to the boys. We headed into the field to find Lesek holding a feed bag, calling the herd. Sid and Kev were on foot at the back, so Squeak (in the Shogun rounded the back and Eddie and I took a side each. It was a particularly pot holed field, and the Iveco doesn’t have the best of suspension (being a tipper truck). The cows behaved and we got them into a holding pen at the back of the shed.

Now we had to separate the calf. Kev and Squeak and Lesek sent most of the herd to Sid and I at the gate. Eventually, they held onto the calf long enough to get the rest of the herd through the gates into the next pen. The calf wasn’t happy at all, and charged at me several times. Eventually Sid sent him to a holding pen, and planned to keep him in the shed for the rest of his life. We got the rest of the herd into a fresh field as a reward for behaving so well and it was debrief time. The calves had done some damage to both Eddie’s Golf, and Sid’s Shogun, but it was all reparable.

A very eventful morning on the farm, sometimes I wish I had grown up in the country, but then I don’t. I am just thankful for these experiences, and the people that surround them. The memories will be forever, and that’s why I write this blog; to get my memories onto a page, and so hopefully when I am old, I read this and remember the fun I had, and the stories I get to tell. This post is actually quite backdated, and I am currently finishing it off in Malaysia, at a bar called Reggae Bar, with a heap of tourists. I will try and get the blog updated by the end of the week, but I’m unsure, as I head to England tomorrow, and then Leeds festival!